I love being a foster parent- and it's been something that has defined who I am- and what my purpose is in this life. I'm so glad to have gotten to this point- but it's been a rocky road to get here.
I met my wonderful husband in 2005, and we were engaged rather quickly. We married in 2007. By the beginning of 2009 we decided to start trying to get pregnant. After a few months, it was clear to me that it wasn't going to work. If you want the full rundown of our TTC history- you can check out my blog from that time HERE. The quick rundown is that I have PCOS and I do not ovulate on my own. I was unable to get pregnant on Clomid, and we decided that we weren't going to pursue more advanced fertility treatments.
We decided to pursue foster care in the spring of 2010, and finally submitted our application in January of 2011. We were licensed in August of 2011 and by the end of September our first two children moved in with us.
Anthony and Georgia were my first kids, and I thought they were perfect. They certainly are my angels, and they are amazing- but they had hidden issues. They both have a diagnosis of RAD- however two years later- Georgia shows more issues than Anthony does.
We finalized their adoption in April of 2012. And we were a family of 4. We were deliriously happy. These kids were amazing, and I love them so deeply. But something inside of me knew that we weren't finished yet.
In July 2012 we got a call for a 13 month old baby boy. We picked him up that same afternoon and for the first several months I was sure that he would be going home to his mother.
Unfortunately she was unable to make the necessary changes, and in May 2013 she signed away her rights rather than go through a lengthy termination trial. I worry about her, as I have suspicions that she has returned to her old lifestyle without the motivation of her son to stop her.
Although that was a sad day for her, I am glad to say that we will be adopting "Jack" in the near future. He is now 2 years old and a TOUGH kid. He was drug exposed at birth and while I have no proof, I believe that is the cause for his sleep problems for the first 8 months he lived here, and also for his hyperactivity at this point. He is so insanely adorable, and also stronger and more determined than any 2 year old that I have ever met.
The most difficult placement for me was our twins. B/G 12 year olds who had my heart from the very first moment.
To be continued....
Monday, September 23, 2013
Sometimes this SUCKS
It's hard for me- to write about the bad things about being a foster parent.
I WANT to be able to say- "This is awesome!! Everyone should do it!"
But in the midst of my worst days- I didn't want to read about how awesome things are for others. Or how EASY everyone has it. The LAST thing I wanted was to feel like there was something I was MISSING.
What I wanted and needed to know was that I WAS NOT ALONE. Because in that moment, when my family and all those around me were throwing opinions at me like the wind- I needed to know that I was not insane. That I had not cursed my family by making this choice- and that somehow it would eventually get better.
So my goal for this blog is to tell you how much I LOVE being a foster parent. I love it. I have found my identity in this. I have found my calling and my purpose in life.
But man it SUCKS sometimes. And it's hard. And you shouldn't do it if you aren't willing to accept these facts. Because there will be moments when people try to tell you that this is a mistake. And you may start to believe them.
There are moments when you are so emotionally, and physically tired that you can't even imagine things getting better. And they may not get better for a long time. Or it may force you into a truly difficult choice. This was my path. And it sucked for a while. It still sucks sometimes. But I still love it because I love my kids. And I love what I do.
I WANT to be able to say- "This is awesome!! Everyone should do it!"
But in the midst of my worst days- I didn't want to read about how awesome things are for others. Or how EASY everyone has it. The LAST thing I wanted was to feel like there was something I was MISSING.
What I wanted and needed to know was that I WAS NOT ALONE. Because in that moment, when my family and all those around me were throwing opinions at me like the wind- I needed to know that I was not insane. That I had not cursed my family by making this choice- and that somehow it would eventually get better.
So my goal for this blog is to tell you how much I LOVE being a foster parent. I love it. I have found my identity in this. I have found my calling and my purpose in life.
But man it SUCKS sometimes. And it's hard. And you shouldn't do it if you aren't willing to accept these facts. Because there will be moments when people try to tell you that this is a mistake. And you may start to believe them.
There are moments when you are so emotionally, and physically tired that you can't even imagine things getting better. And they may not get better for a long time. Or it may force you into a truly difficult choice. This was my path. And it sucked for a while. It still sucks sometimes. But I still love it because I love my kids. And I love what I do.
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